I forced Jason to make the decision on where we're going to eat tomorrow night. He decided on Red Lobster, because I've never had lobster, and he thinks I need to try it. Richia and Luke were going to go with us, but decided to go to Luke's house instead, where his mom was going to cook for them. I'm pretty excited. I think it will be fun.
On Sunday night, our church is having a teen night, where they invite all the teens in surrounding churches to come. There is going to be food, a short devo, and singing. I was wondering if anyone wanted to come with me. I'm going to go to church in Wapak on Sunday, and then go home and sleep, and I'll wake up early enough in the afternoon to take some of the teens from our church to Findlay. If anyone would be interested in coming, Let me know. Everyone is meeting at my house at about 4:45, and we'll leave at 5:00. It should last a couple of hours and we'll be home at 9:00 or so.

I am so tired this week. I don't even know why. But things have gotten better for me. I just had a really bad week last week. About anything that could go wrong did, but it has been a lot better so far this week.

I was going to write about something yesterday, but I don't remember what it was. Talk to you later.

I don't know why I can't get along with my dad. It was horrible yesterday, because I had to spend all day with him, because of the funeral. When we got home, we were watching TV and I had to go back to my room before I exploded at him. I can't even stand to be in the same room with him for more than a few minutes. The biggest pain was that I had a project that I had to do, so I stayed out at the computer for about an hour. When I couldn't stand it, I went back to my room, and came back out when they went to bed. I was up until 11:30 last night as a result.
I was so sorry for Makenzie at the funeral yesterday. Great-Grandma was the first person close to her to die. She was a mess, and of course her mom doesn't care, so I went over to her and gave her a hug and held her for about 5-10 minutes. I myself was okay until about halfway through the service, when I was like, I can't cry, I can't cry, I still have to sing. My family and I sang in a quartet for the service. But I could hear my voice shaking during the last song. After that, I was gone.
After we went to the cemetary, we all went back to my Grandma Goldsmith's house. We had dinner, and everyone was there. It was so fun. I was told by one of my friends, jokingly, that I needed therapy, and I think it's all my family's fault. It was hillarious, when Makenzie had homework, we had my cousin Neil, a physics and chem. teacher, my mom, a music teacher, my cousin Lindsey, a French teacher, and her husband Aaron, a social studies teacher all helping her. They would argue about what everything meant, and it was just funny. Then I went outside to call for a camp application down in Tennessee, and my uncle asked me if I was calling my boyfriend. I was like, not quite.

Yesterday, I came into school to find that almost all of the locks in the teachers doors had been drilled out. I asked Frau about it, and when class started she read us an e-mail that said that 2 kids broke into the school Wednesday night, and but caulking in 86 of the locks. They caused about $10,000 worth of damage. They'll face charges from the school, and from the police dept. I hope they get caught. That was just a stupid thing to do.

I was talking to Kathrin and Dave last night. THat was a trip, because I was in such a weird mood. It was kind of scary, I think I was freaking a few people out. But I couldn't help it. I was so tired and had so many things on my mind.
My great grandmother died yesterday in the morning, and I didn't find out about it until almost 4 in the afternoon. I was mad about that. No one called me and told me, and I told them I would have the cell phone on.
I don't know how I'm going to make it through the school year. I know I've made it this far, and there's only 5 weeks too much, but that's 5 weeks too many. I don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings anymore. I'm always so tired, and so many things have changed in the last few weeks. I just can't take it anymore.
ANd I really can't talk to anyone here. THere's only so much you can talk about over the phone. I just want to be able to see someone who I can talk to. Everyone in school hates me, I'm not close enough to anyone at ONU to talk to them, and almost all my friends except for Maggie and Christa are at least 2 hours away. I'm sick of talking on the phone.
Seriously, I don't know how I've made it this far with no friends. I think my weird mood last night was all the stress catching up with me. I said some really stupid things talking to Kat and Dave. I'm just tired.

Could you also all remember my great-grandma. She's 97, and a couple of weeks ago, she had a stroke. She's been asleep ever since, and hasn't had food or water for about 6 days now. they don't know why she's still alive. She hasn't been eating enough for months, and weighs less than 100 pounds now. When she was young she wore a 16, and was 6 feet tall. NOw she looks like she's about 4 feet tall, and weighs close to nothing. We're hoping she will die without suffering, because she's not going to come out of this.

The last few days have been a little crazy for me. I've been at home a lot, but my dad and I have been fighting a lot, so I've been hiding in my room for the last week and a half. I was so restless I could have killed something. It was really annoying. I was trying to get a hold of California David on the phone for like, 4 days or something like that, but he was never home, and then when he tried to call me on Saturday, my phone didn't ring, but luckily he left a message so I called him right back.
I should have worked on one of my two projects that are due this week, but I have been sick since Friday. Last night I didn't sleep well because I was coughing so much.
In other words, my break pretty much sucked.

Here you go, Maggie. My prom dress is black, sleeveless, about mid calf length. It has gores in the skirt so it flares out, and I have a shawl that's black, with red flowers embroidered on it. I have a black and silver necklace and earrings that are silver with red stones. The purse is all beaded, and in the shape of a shell. I think it will look nice.

Only 131 more days until I start at BG. I can't wait to get out of my house. I'm just so tired of being treated like dirt by the rest of my family. I'm glad that I will be gone most of the summer.
I will be going to ONU's summer music camp, about the second week after school lets out, and then in July, I will be going to Tennessee for a church camp, and hopefully will be able to stay with the Webbers for a week or so. Then not too long after that, I start classes in college. I can't wait.
We're having a pizza party with Mrs. Morris today, because of tutoring. She's so funny, because she wanted to have it on Wed, and I said that I had a class at 1, and she immediately said, then what about Tues. She really wants me to be able to come because I am one of the only ones who ever does anything. It' pretty funny.

I had a decent weekend surprisingly. On Saturday, we went shopping, and we took my little cousin Jackson to get some new dress shoes for his birthday. After we got his shoes, he "helped" me pick out some new jewelry and a purse for prom, and then we went to Burger King (which he picked) for his birthday. Then we took him home and we went home ourselves, and I had the rest of the day to myself. I stayed in my room most of the time, watched a movie, and called Dave. It was so relaxing. On Sunday, things were much more busy, but still really fun. We went to church and I got to talk to someone that I hadn't seen in quite a long time, and then I went to my viola lesson. I got to sleep on the way home and after we went to church that night, we watched Chicago. Mom and dad got it on sale in Bowling Green during my lesson.
The only problem with my weekend is that it was way too short. But, we have thurs, fri, and mon. off for Easter, so it wasn't too bad.

I was so mad on Friday. I wish I would have had the cell phone friday night because I really needed to vent. My grandparents were coming over to ride with us to the musical. I wasn't going of course, but mom, dad, and my other grandma was. I'm sure you all know how much I "love" my grandparents anyway, but my grandma decided not to come into the house and stay in the car. Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? They haven't seen us since about Christmas, and she stays out in the car. I'm thinking that I'm just going to take the cell phone and call Kathrin or Dave when we have Easter at their house. I won't go in.

I hate school............................................. And I hate rain ..............................................................................
.....................................And I especially hate going to school in the rain.

I got my new viola case yesterday. It's really nice, and I love it.

I talked to David last night. It was so funny. Our conversations are so random, like we went from him being a wuss because it was so cold, his classes, musical, Richia thinking that I like him, and me not wanting to go to sleep. Then we came full circle to talk about the temperature again.

For some reason, yesterday Richia asked me if I had another hot date for prom. I asked her what she meant, and she said that she had been talking to Kathrin and Kat said that I had been talking to David a lot. So apparently, Richia got it into her head that I am in love with him, a guy that I've never met, and have only talked to him about 12 times. I told him what she said when I talked to him last night, and we both had a good laugh about it.

I miss everyone. I really miss not having someone I can talk to about just about anything. Kathrin and David are the only other ones who I can talk to, but I can't really call them every night. I can't wait until the summer when everyone will be home. I will have to have a bonfire or something when Kathrin is here, and we can all get together. Of course there will be my graduation party on June 17, but I will have to greet everyone. I'm expecting quite a few people, like everyone at both of my churches, but of course NOT my grandparents.

I just noticed how random this blog is. Sometimes I think that I'm bipolar or something, because none of my blogs make sense, on account of how random they are.

I hate living at home. For some reason, I am always wrong. My dad always has a better idea, or I did something stupid, even though it wasn't. Today, I had him help me with a scholarship, and he was looking up financial stuff for it, and I said that I threw away one of the papers with the stuff on it, and he's like well why did you do that. Even though I had the same info in another packet, I did something stupid. And when I was reading off the stuff, He's like, that's not right. So the same info that was on the other paper that I threw away was wrong, according to his records. So what was the point of asking me. He makes this huge deal of keeping records for places that I know I'm not going, and when I say anything, he yells at me. One day I said something about that and he started telling me that he knows exactly what I'm feeling and he's been through exactly the same thing. When was he at a school where he didn't have any friends? when was the last time that he was harassed by teachers? He doesn't know have of the stuff that I've had to put up with in high school. I don't tell them half of the stuff that happened at Allen East, and I don't tell them about classes here. He doesn't know anything, despite that fact that he knows better than me.

I'm going with Jason to musical on Thursday, and I told Kathrin that, and she is now threatening to get someone who I don't even know to tell Jason to ask me out. Then I told that to David (California David, not "David" or Little David) and he asked me for his phone number and then made fun of me when I didn't know it. He was like, " You don't know the phone number of your future boyfriend?" He's stupid.

I forgot to say that I finally got a new viola case. It was $300, so it had better be nice. But the good thing about paying that much for a case, is that it will last quite a while. I should be at least out of college before I need a new one.

I'm going to musical on Thursday. I'm going with Jason. He said that he wanted to go, so I said that I would go with him, just so I don't have to put up with my grandparents on Friday, because that's when everyone else is going.
I can't wait to go home tonight.