As I start to type this, I really don't know what to say, but I feel like getting some stuff out. I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to cry, but I can't. I want to scream at people, but I can't. I really want to tell people how I feel, but I can't. I don't know what to do, other than feel depressed, but obviously, that's not what I want. I don't want to be the unhappy, depressing to talk to person. But that's who I turn out to be a lot of the time.
I honestly don't even know why I'm feeling so bad. I haven't felt good for a few days, but other than that, nothing big has happened. I've stayed home, watched tv, and just got the rest that I didn't get, all last semester. What's wrong with that, right? Well I don't know. BUt something, because I feel worse than I did a lot of days when I was in BG. And normally, if that happened, I'd have a good cry, and for some reason, right now, I can't. I can't physically cry.
I think part of what makes this so bad is the fact that I know I shouldn't feel this way. I mean, I'm healthy, I have friends who care about me, family who cares about me, and as much as I may overdramatize all the stuff going on right now, it's really not that bad. What's going on? A little drama at church, which I've been through before. I can handle it. Also, a few annoyances from my family, dad especially. But nothing I didn't deal with last year, and it'll get better as soon as I go back to school.
I wish I knew what was going on, and why I feel this way. But I really have no idea. And I wish it would stop.